Keep in Touch

To my good friend Kristina Smotlakova.

Recently from re-reading application forms to diggings I came across an all time classic: "Motivation - I want to meet new people".
I have a friend that says that people in is life have become blurry figures, since so many came and go.
In the recent experience of a 3 month campaign digging Castanheiro do Vento, I came to understand completely what he meant.
If you are there to long you will see the movie on and on. People arrive, big friendships (for life), a magnificent environment, tears, laughs, party, people go away, tears, long hugs, "let us keep in touch", the end.
"Its normal" people say. But if we stop and reflect about this, we see that in fact, no one really gets to know no one. No one cares to build a friendship. Its the Diet Light relationship.
In the age were we have more contact possibilities ever, its were we have more quantity but less quality contact.
Diggings (as other activities like summer camps, etc) are all marked by this "Illusion and Euphoria" syndrome, which afterwards some come to regret.
As I work in Simulation, I came to understand that all is formed by Illusion and Reality. The two things come along together. All reality is built from illusion.
Lets see a good example. We all know that diggings are the spot were couples start and last from minutes to years.
I know a very young couple were she's from Portugal and he's from Germany and they're relationship is strong and good for 2 years now.
How can a love last like this? The answer would be like always, solid things are built mainly by past, present future and conscience. Isnt that why we archaeologists say that past is important?
It's from the heritage that we build when we are in love (passion - illusory time) that love can actually happen or not. For a love to endure we have to work it everyday in different ways. By words, gestures and so many other things.
There is were the secret relies.
We have an affinity at start, and then we just build more.
Sometimes we get tired of building or tired of the building itself. Like always its always good to take a rest. We make a pause and afterwards we see again if its better to build Troy II or if Troy I is still good to live in if we make some arrangements.
As I talk about love I can speak of course about friendship. It's relationships in general.
Its very ironic that people with interest in the past, kill theyre own personal heritage. The old though of "It only made sense there. Now its past".
When we go back to our life, the experience of the digging seems like a dream, to which we want, but we cant go back. Its only good memories. Past that we ourselves bury.
We forget mainly that the future depends only on us and on our will.
Things can make sense but in a new way.
Its interesting how sometimes it comes to make sense again. Sometimes we remember and ask "How is that guy going? and we get in contact again".
Im sure that when we meet again its never the same, but there is always something there.
It will be different from our expectations (the moment is not the same), but if we just let ourselves go we just create another moment (and that is how we have to face it).
Things make sense because we want them to make sense and this as much to do with a word, which I have a long love/hate relationship: Maturity (yes I also hate to say this).
This comes from experience. We cannot learn because someone teach or lecture us. We just have to live it.
In relationships or we truly believe in something and bet to win or we are only puppets on the strings of circumstance.
We blame what we can (distance, time, environment, the errors of someone else) so we can easly go out.
Doing this, we refuse responsability. Its easy.
Hard is to do the other way around and practice a big quality: Understanding.

Relationships dont depend on circumstances to last. They depend mainly on us and on our conscience to make things work. Or that or we fool ourselfs as we become more and more just another puppet: a thing.